Resources for Grief

What to Say to a Grieving Friend

Tell them one reason why their loved one was so wonderful. "My favorite memory...." and be brief.

Instead of saying "they're in a better place," say "my life is better because of this person, I'm so glad and grateful..."

Instead of telling them "This is God's will," instead provide the affirmation that "God is with you" because God is especially present with those that are troubled (Psalm 46).

Be a friend. Just be present. Sometimes, it is best not to say anything rather than say the wrong thing. No matter how much grief you have experienced, do not turn someone else's grief into an opportunity to pour out your own grief upon them. Nobody needs that.

Instead of saying "Let me know if there is anything that I can do," instead say, "I have a meal for you, what time can I stop by?" or "We are coming over Saturday to rake your leaves." Close friends know to wash the dishes and fold the laundry and take out the trash. Some people don't appreciate outsiders touching their laundry or encroaching upon their personal space.. If you aren't that intimate, it isn't presumption to help someone who is already quietly doing what needs to be done. Keep your eyes open. Sometimes, it is better to ask a friend of the bereaved or other family member what you can do to be helpful, rather than asking the bereaved.

What to Say at a Funeral

Here is a copy of my "Funeral Book" which I put together as a resource as a minister.